Yes, it’s all over the interwebs, and making geek waves all over: The announcement that a new Star Trek TV series will be coming to us in 2017.

And I’m really not looking forward to this…

Not because I wouldn’t like to see a new Star Trek TV series… but because it’s reportedly going to be helmed by the people who gave us the last two Star Trek movies.

Yeah.  The ones where Kirk is an utter asshole, Spock is an unbalanced psycho, ships are big enough to play pro football in the rec rooms, communications looks remarkably like a brewery and engineering has more plumbing than a Soylent factory… well.  You get the gist.

Yeah, I’m a Trek purist… I admit it.  In my Star Trek, the crew of the Enterprise was about exploration, learning about the galaxy and other cultures, and helping people with their problems.  They did everything they could to avoid wars and conflicts, or to end them with as little bloodshed as possible, and come to peaceful understandings with alien races.

But in later years, Star Trek became about this:

Star Trek battles in spaceIt was Star Wars, but with the Empire as the good guys.

The NuTrek movies used one of science fiction’s worst tropes—time travel creating alternate timelines—as an excuse to do whatever they wanted with the original Star Trek characters, and turned them into the kind of people audiences would recognize from a primetime soap: Jerks, prima-donnas, morons, jokers and troublemakers, who are more predisposed to getting into elaborately-choreographed fights or unloading their arsenals on their enemies as working out peaceful solutions to anything.  Its producers were allowing the nation’s fondness for first-person shooters to overwhelm ideas like thinking through problems and forging peace through cooperation, and were more interested in Kirk’s sex life with green-skinned aliens than his abilities as a diplomat and representative of the Federation is general, and the Human race in particular.

And I imagine we’ll have plenty of this to look forward to:


sexy alien

Martian whore


This is not my idea of Star Trek.  This is pandering to tired old sci-fi cliches, and even more tired Star Trek cliches, in order to create titillation and stoopid crazy space-battles to thrill an audience that doesn’t want to think beyond the last pizza they ordered online.  This is a parody of what Star Trek is.

And so, knowing that these are the people who are going to guide the development of the next iteration of Star Trek, I plan to steer in another direction.  You guys want to do Star Trek: Travesty, go right ahead.  I’ll be an another room, with a book.  Or watching a movie.  Or walking along the lakeside.  Taking a drive.  Anything but watching a NuTrek series.

So… prove me wrong.  I dare you.  I double-dog dare you.


Postscript: I’ve written on Star Trek once or twice before.  Previous posts that fit the subject:

What deep concepts could Star Trek ponder next?

Star Trek: Federation

What could replace Star Trek?