Maybe you’re familiar with the TV series Adam Ruins Everything: Where writer and show host Adam Conover aims to debunk the myriad misconceptions that pervade U.S. society. I love the way he not only points out the popular beliefs and assumptions presented in each episode, but provides references and sometimes actual authorities on the subject to bedunk those myths and assumptions.
ARE has covered a myriad of subjects—the episode about the music industry has a lot of parallels to the writing industry, BTW—but last night’s subject, about conspiracy theories, made me stop and consider some of my own perceptions, to wit: Do I have a realistic take on how my own life has progressed?
As an example: Being African-American, I’m aware of the many aspects of American life that have been tailor-made to disadvantage and downright oppress me based on my color, while providing advantages in similar situations to European-Americans. Over the years, I’ve had my share of missed opportunities of one kind or another; and occasionally, I suspect my color to have played a role in those losses.
But can I make an honest (much less accurate) assessment of that? In cases where I don’t know one way or the other, should I assume that I was purposely disadvantaged because of my color? Was I actively discriminated against? Was it just my personal inadequacies that lost me those opportunities? Or am I assuming conspiracies where there are none? I realize that much of those discrimination-based processes are specifically designed to obscure evidence of its effects… but without concrete evidence, should I automatically assume the worst? And should I make future decisions—what I do, where I go, how I act towards others—based on unfounded assumptions and evidence I don’t actually have?
Another example would be my attempt to become a successful novelist: Most of the assumptions I’ve made about my failures to sell my books are, admittedly, based on a lack of data rather than actual evidence. For instance, I could assume that my writing should have been good enough to forward my career… but without hard data, and only a few readers’ comments, I never had real support for that assumption.
More vexing was actual promotion of my work: Can I assume that my blown promotional efforts were due exclusively to my own failings as a promoter… or could it be that the indifference or even animosity of colleagues and strangers played a part in my failure? Were my inadequate efforts at connecting to potential supporters all my fault? Did prospective support sources ignore me… just not notice me… or did others intentionally distract them from me for their own ends? And my face wasn’t exactly hidden: Did my race, my age, my looks, my glasses, my weight, etc, etc, adversely impact my attempts at promotion, or discourage those who would support me?
Most importantly, should I make assumptions upon my own character based on what are essentially theories? Should I hate on others, based on theorized slights… or should I hate upon myself for supposedly not being good enough, savvy enough, persistent enough to succeed? Should I assume the world is out to get me… or that my failures are all on me?
What’s most frustrating about this conundrum is that one decision takes you to anger… while the other leads to an inferiority complex. Where is the middle ground, where you can just shrug off the past, no harm no foul, not assume the worst of either side, and live your life without regrets?
I wish I knew. Because living a life that feels like one part anger, one part inferiority and seemingly nothing else, leads you down a dark path that you might never find your way out of. Unlike Adam Ruins Everything, I have lots of questions, but no hard data to support answers. So I’m stuck with either second-guessing myself or self-identifying conspiracy theories against me, neither of which is a particularly good head-space… or a reliable way to make decisions.
At least I can apply one lesson from Adam Ruins Everything: Question. If unsure, investigate… ask… study. Just don’t blindly accept. And when unsure, temper your responses to avoid prejudice or unfounded assumption. Or don’t respond at all.
This where I feel like I am now: Unsure and unable to act or respond, because I don’t have the data I need to make informed decisions. I’m just going through the motions, wanting to take the next step, but not knowing what that next step is, and vaguely hoping something will present itself that will help me make a decision… any decision.
Or, hoping something—good or bad—will come along that will take the decision out of my hands and set me on another path entirely… because at least then I’ll be doing something.
Hi Steven, I also love Adam Ruins Everything. It’s a great show that challenges our preconceptions, exactly as you said. I’m glad that it has inspired you to challenge your own in regard to writing. I don’t know if you’re a good or a bad writer, or something in-between, as I have yet to have the pleasure of reading one of your novels. After reading your recent blog, I thought, well, let me find out and give him some feedback. So I clicked on your blog, a very nice looking one I should mention, but I found no link to your books. Not even a list of titles. So, not being one to easily give up, I googled you. Found you on Goodreads, saw your bookcovers, went to Amazon to see if I could get one. Unfortunately, all your books are listed as out of print paperbacks. No e-book available. Then I read your author bio on the side of the page which says basically you quit due to lack of success. I thought how very sad. Not to even have your books available for purchase? What are you thinking? It’s pretty hard to get anywhere if you rip up the road. I suggest you try again, republish your books, edit them first if they need it. Let people support you by opening the door. I’ve enjoyed your posts in the past, but now they just seem like a prolonged pity-party. Think of Adam and change your expectations. Marla Anderson
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Yes, it’s true: I took my remaining books out of circulation. Part of the reason was the uncertainty of my product, due to the reasons cited above. Another part is the possibility of repurposing them later, though that decision is also impacted by the uncertainty cited above.
And for the record: You’re the first and only person to notice, though they’ve all been down for months. And that’s pretty pitiful, too.
But that’s all water under the bridge… sorry you went a-searching for nothing, but the situation demanded I move on. As the article suggests, I’m still trying to figure out my next move. I just don’t have enough information to see how novels are going to fit into my future, and I haven’t figured out where else to go.
Call that a pity-party? Be my guest. It seems everyone is interested in you when you’re doing well, or trying to paticipate… but no one wants to hear from you when you quite publicly fail. But after 25 years of effort down the drain, I honestly don’t care. I blew it, I walked out… I’m trying to deal with it. It is what it is.
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[Quote=Steven Lyle Jordan]
This where I feel like I am now: Unsure and unable to act or respond, because I don’t have the data I need to make informed decisions.
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Leaving out the word “is” stops me every time.
[Quote=Steven Lyle Jordan]
Just don’t blindly accept. And when unsure, temper your responses to avoid prejudice or unfounded assumption. Or don’t respond at all.
[/Quote=Steven Lyle Jordan]
And all those incomplete sentences make me pause to fill in the words you didn’t say. Why? Are you trying to paint a picture? or are you talking to a reader?
Rule number one, Stand up as if you were giving a speech. Read what you wrote aloud. Rewrite anyplace you stumble, (or insert missing words.)
Were the novels too timely? Were they chained to a certain “World”? You write well, though a little pedantically. Try to speak to a younger audience. But don’t give up. There are too few actual Writers in this Internet Age. There are too many people out there that are shouting just to make themselves heard, though they have nothing new to say.
Buy the decals to turn your keyboard into a Dvorak one and learn how to make your PC understand Dvorak. Dvorak Typists type at over 200 words per minute. The government stopped giving Speed Tests for Typists when the Dvorak Typists hit 300wpm.
That means, if it is a novel, it would take 200x60x8 (96000 words a day) to type a Novel. You couldn’t have more fun swashbuckling your worlds if you tried. (And take a Tech Writing job on the side to teach you to use less pedantic words.) It worked for Donald Hamilton, at Los Alamos National Laboratory & many Matt Helm Novels.
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“Le uova non devono ballare con le pietre.”
“Eggs have no business dancing with stones” from the movie “Shoot ‘Em Up”
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Yeah, sorry my writing doesn’t impress you. I’ll let you know if I decide to write like everyone else.
(Eggs and stones don’t dance. Glad I never saw that movie.)
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